Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
