She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drunk is not a location!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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