In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
