Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
