Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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