we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
