Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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