forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
