lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
