I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
