I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize