Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning