walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.