so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.