I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...