That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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