girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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