I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
