Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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