There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
