Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
