This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
