I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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