Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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