She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
