My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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