I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
