tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize