i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
