your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
