at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
