oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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