Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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