Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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