Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
