How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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