Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish there were birth control emojis
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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