I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
