Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(215): I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex http://tfl.nu/ohto

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.

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(859): I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum. http://tfl.nu/asaw

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(540): View more from Virginia

I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf

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(540): I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf http://tfl.nu/8zma

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(734): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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(734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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(703): Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick. http://tfl.nu/xski

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Do they take checks?

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

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(606): Do they take checks? (1-606): Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL? http://tfl.nu/lvo7

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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(702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2

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(614): View more from Ohio

THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK

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(614): THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/6k18

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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(843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18

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(212): View more from New York

No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.

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(212): No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often. http://tfl.nu/bjtx

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(205): View more from Alabama

I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

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(205): I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point http://tfl.nu/73b4

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.

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(814): I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work. (1-814): Either he has bad timing or he wants to join. http://tfl.nu/sgyz

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(574): View more from Indiana

My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.

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(574): My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever. http://tfl.nu/qus4

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(785): View more from Kansas

Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."

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(785): Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk." http://tfl.nu/6oxw

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(574): View more from Indiana

most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water

(1-574): View more from Indiana

desperate times, desperate measures

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(574): most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water (1-574): desperate times, desperate measures http://tfl.nu/2k3a

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