due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
