i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize
