i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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