I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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