omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
