The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
