Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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