There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i out mim tonsoeep
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