I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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