FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
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