I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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