Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
