oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
