She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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