she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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