HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
