I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
