why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
