I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
