Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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