I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
