dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i came on her dog
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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