I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
