We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FUCK WHALES
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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