I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize