so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
