the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
