oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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